Ninja Book Club Book Review: Art in Other Places
The MFF Ninja Book Club is led by guest Ninja Danielle Azoulay.
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This past weekend our first Ninja Book Club meeting took place. We discussed the book Art in Other Places: Artists at Work in America’s Community and Social Institutions, by William Cleveland. This book is basically a collection of case studies for non-traditional ways to use the arts to educate and heal people who are in nursing homes, hospitals, jails, and other social institutions.
Our group had many different reactions to this book. Some felt angry and frustrated that this is the fundamental purpose of art and we have gone too far commercializing it to still stay true to its core. Others felt that the compassion displayed by the people who headed these programs was an amazing example of what can happen when someone who has never been engaged on this level, is. People who were never held accountable for anything became accountable to their fellow cast members and they learned how to work as a team and their lives were changed forever.
We all agreed that these arts educators transform the lives of people who are the victims of a broken system. An adult woman, who was deaf and mute, for the first time in her life, was able to express herself through her paintings, which she sold to raise funds for sign language lessons. Prisoners that were engaged in poetry and acting classes became less aggressive and were able to explore the roots of their problems. Nursing home patients looked forward to their weekly dance classes, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. Each example had a similar outcome, the people on the receiving end of the arts education were more fulfilled, more in touch with themselves and they felt they had something to live for.
Programs like these are inspirational and transformative for the participants. The educators in this book, who were really the pioneers of this movement, are heroes for seeing something in people that society didn’t. They extended their compassion and knowledge and believed that the arts would give people a sense of self-worth, and they were right. This is one example of how a society that puts an emphasis on the arts, benefits in many ways. We must realize that the arts can serve many purposes, not only to entertain, but to bring community members together, to heal wounds inflicted by society and to give people who experience art, in any form, a sense of self. The value inherent in the arts is often overlooked and this book did a great job of capturing the unique ability of arts as a discipline to serve different segments of our society.
Movement Matters
At MFF, we get people healthy and hot. We use the most progressive training and nutrition strategies in the industry to blow people’s damn minds with consistent, dramatic results. This is super fun, cuz we like people, and we like hotness, and we like watching people achieve their first six-pack, or drop a dress size, or send pictures of themselves in a string bikini to their ex-husband.
And while we love this part of our job (and understand that it’s the main reason folks come to us), we like to think we’re also providing another crucial service for our Ninjas:in many cases, we’re giving people a chance to rediscover movement.
I feel VERY passionately that a life without movement is a life not fully lived. Humans were not meant to live in boxes, and I reject a life spent at a desk. It is my belief that humans need to move and exert themselves, or not only will their bodies break down, but they also won’t be truly happy.
While we use exercise as a tool to burn body fat and build muscle, there’s something to be said for movement for movement’s sake. Many of our clients are elite dancers, and MFF is just one part of a very active life. But many of our clients have NOT been very active when they come to work with us. They may come to lose a few pounds, but we hope we can also instill in them an appreciation for the inherent value and beauty of movement.
Movement matters. Structured exercise is awesome, don’t get me wrong. But simply getting up from the floor in an effective manner is an important skill. Cuz sometimes you trip on shit, you know? While crawling patterns and basic tumbling may not fit into the traditional exercise mold, the longer I’m in this game, the more essential these basic movements seem.
I don’t know where this goes yet. But I know as an industry, I think we can do a better job of giving the gift of movement. Movement that is not utilitarian in nature or solely for some hotness end game. Movement that is done for its own sake, to experience what it’s like to have a body, to get out of your damn thinking-too-much, monkey-mind head and bring your awareness to your body. I don’t think it always has to be about barbell lifts or kettlebell swings. I think exercise is great, but I think movement must precede exercise.
I think we will see a growing trend in this industry toward exploring the gamut of human movement. I want to live a full life. I want my Ninjas to live full lives and experience all the universe has to offer. Fitness folks tend to enjoy systems, and that’s not a bad thing,but systems require categorizing things. By labeling things, you seek to put them in a cognitive box. Is getting up off the floor a push, a leg exercise, or a core exercise? As my mentor Gray Cook would say, “YES.”
Perhaps we need a more expansive approach to movement. Perhaps our hearts need a more expansive appreciation of the variety of the human experience (yeah, I fucking went there, dzuh). I find myself down another rabbit hole, grappling with sexy questions.
As fitness professionals, we owe it to our society to begin to educate folks on the concept of basic movement competence. The reality is people just move poorly because our environment has profoundly changed in the past few decades. As Dr. Stuart McGill points out in his Ultimate Back Performance, most people rob themselves of their capacity for long term physical durability with poor posture and movement. Yes, I want to make you hot. Yes, I want to make you a fucking beast in the weight room (or Clubhouse). But I want to make sure our work is informing your movement on a moment-to-moment basis. If you’re not moving better when you’re NOT with me, I’m not doing my job.
And I’m GONNA do my job, dear reader. I owe it you. I owe it to my Ninjas. I owe it to my mentors. I owe it to the universe. I’m gonna figure this the fuck out.
So don’t be surprised if MFF starts a “Movement Club” where we all meet in Central Park and just play and climb and leap and roll and work on basic movement skills. There’s so much more to movement than exercise. And―dare I say it?―there’s more to life than hotness.
I love the fuck out of you.
(A HUGE an epic thanks to my friend Clifton Harski, whose work has inspired me and expanded my personal horizons. Those of you who are students of the game and dig reading about training will like his blog, he’s a smart dude. Check him out!)
On Unicorns, Glory, and Middle-Aged Ninjas
a guest post from one of our most esteemed SuperNinjas, the inimitable Stella Kaufman
I came to Mark Fisher Fitness with the simple hope that I could break through a weight loss plateau that I had been at for six months. A little cardio. That’s all.
I’m not gonna lie. I looked at the MFF logo online, and I felt pretty sure that I was not going to fit into that scene. I was intimidated, to say the least. I was worried about being too old, too heavy, too weak to keep up with whatever was going on there. I also remember reading that MFF referred to everyone as ninjas, and feeling certain that one look at me would change all that.
Little did I know that I was about to embark on a journey that would cause a palpable shift in the cosmic order of the universe as I knew it. (Too much? I know, but I swear it’s true.) I was in for a crazy rainbow unicorn ride that was to teach me more than I could have ever imagined,
It all started when I read the Snatched in 6 Weeks eBook. One thing stood out:
“If you do these 5 things, you will totally change your body in 6 weeks. I promise if you consistently do these 5 things, you’ll be snatched.”
For the record, I confess to being a skeptic when it comes to promises and guarantees. All I could think was, “This guy doesn’t know anything about me. How does he know what will work for me? More protein? More calories? Oh yeah, I hope he’s up to this challenge! (Insert cynical laughter.) Lofty declaration, Mr. Fisher. Game. On.”
(Please don’t tell Mark.)
Though I was doubtful and fearful, I ditched my attitude and made the commitment to follow the program exactly. Whatever happened, I was determined not to give anyone, including myself, a reason to doubt my efforts.
I plodded along, leaning against the wall for balance during split squats, praying that I would not hear the word “burpee” any time soon, and all the while sweating like a whore In church. The fact that I was twice the age of everyone in there was the least of my problems.
But within those first few weeks, even though I hadn’t lost any weight (yet), something started to happen. My attitude started to change. Maybe it was the exercise, maybe it was the kettle bells. Maybe it was the daily encouragement. I started to feel empowered. With each class I felt a little bit stronger. (Maybe one percent?) And that’s when everything started to change. I had my first ninjapiphany (I’m pretty sure that’s a word.)
Ninjapiphany #1- Everyone Loves a Good Mindfuck
It was at that point that I realized that, at its best, my subconscious is an all-powerful tool; at its worst, it is a sabotaging enabler. My body can’t do it alone. I realized that my journey to fitness glory could be about so much more than exercise and nutrition. How much more was up to me.
I decided to make my mind my bitch. I enrolled myself in “How Stella Got Her Groove Back 101” and proceeded to combine what I was getting from my MFF training with training for my subconscious mind. I read Joseph Murphy’s book, “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” as my textbook. I mindfucked myself into believing I was strong.
Each day I felt a little more courageous (maybe one percent?). I stepped outside my comfort zone. I was done with self-imposed limitations, middle-age complacency, mediocrity and the C word (that word being can’t – please try to focus).
Ninjapiphany #2 User Error
Sometimes, I made mistakes. I overestimated what I thought I could do in class. I underestimated what I thought I could do in class. I made wrong turns. But somewhere along the way, I discovered that when I make mistakes, it says something about where I am at that moment. What I learn from those mistakes, and what I do with that knowledge, speaks to who I can be. The truth is, I admit to being surprised at the amount of self-discovery that comes from failure! I learned so much more from my mistakes. (Thank goodness, because really, I make a lot of them.)
Ninjapiphany #3 Let’s Get Physical
I always knew that losing weight and getting into better shape would greatly improve my mental well being, but I had no idea to what extent. I did not know that there would be moments where I would actually hear the hallelujah chorus in my closet. But the truth is, I discovered that it really isn’t just about how you look, it’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin. Being able to move well, to balance, to perform physical acts of strength is essential to a holistic feeling of health (ok, and hotness). I guess I always believed that being “fit” was the icing on the cake, when, in fact, it’s the cake!
Ninjapiphany #4 One Percent
If I can get 1% better — every day — that’s amazing.
Ninjapiphany #5 Unicorns are Real
Finally, I became aware that while the ambience of where I train isn’t everything, it has definitely helped to inspire me on my fitness journey. After these last six months at MFF, I don’t want to go back to a traditional “gym” setting. Ever. Getting better, getting stronger, is just way more fun in a clubhouse, where unicorns graze under rainbow skies, teachers wear costumes, and ninjas of all ages play with kettle bells and tickle dragon balls together. Just knowing that I can have that…and get better…every day?
That’s Glory.
Baby Steps Towards Epic Fitness Victory
Cross-posted as a guest article on the Brooke Stone Lifestyle Management blog.
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As a fitness professional who runs a Ninja Clubhouse (we don’t really do “gyms” at MFF), I run into a lot of folks pursuing fitness goals. We’ve developed a pretty great track record as evidenced by our testimonials and the many hot, hot, HOT humans who’ve transformed their physique while working with us.
For some folks, this journey to health and hotness is easy; their bodies respond quickly, and they have a preternatural enjoyment of physical exertion. For others, it’s a bit of an uphill climb. So what is the best path to pursuing fitness glory for those who just aren’t feeling it?
Just as many paths lead to Rome, many strategies can lead one to the promised land of “lookin’ smokin’ nekkid.” Let’s have a gander at some of our most commonly useful tools, shall we?
1) Have a WHY - In order to get yourself to actually go to the gym (or Ninja Clubhouse if you don’t dig gyms), one must know WHY one is doing it in the first place. If you’re doing it to placate someone else, or because you generally believe you’re “supposed to,” you’re probably not going to have much success. Starting any new habit requires an investment of psychic capital, and there must be a strong impetus when our lives offer so many distractions.
The first step for any would-be MFF Fitness Ninja is to discern WHY it is they are working out. Do you want to get laid at the bar? Do you want to avoid a premature death? Do you want to be more successful in your acting career?
As a side note, you’ll note that the WHYs mentioned above are hardly of the generic aspirational variety (“I just want to be my BEST SELF”). TOTALLY cool. We’ll get you there. Although eventually movement (and excellence) usually becomes an end unto itself, there’s often validity in using a visceral motivation to get the habit started.
2) Have a Plan - If you don’t have a plan to achieve your fitness goal, it’s gonna be hard to stay on track. Once you know WHY it is you’re going to make fitness a regular part of your life, we want to be specific about the goal. Burning fat and building muscle, although both useful for hotness, require different strategies. Once you know where you want to go, you need to have a map of some kind.
And if you don’t know exactly what to do, you should ASK FOR HELP. The best way to kill your newfound motivation is to waste your time wandering around a gym feeling awkward and unsure of what to do, then look back on weeks of time doing something you’re not totally enjoying and that’s not getting you results. Dear reader, should you find yourself stumped… I know a team of ridiculous humans who are serious about fitness who can probably help you out.
It will also serve you to make sure you’re choosing a realistic plan. If your workout’s success hinges on commuting 45 minutes to where ever you’re training five times a week, you may want to reconsider your plan. In the beginning, your goal is to just get the ball rolling, so make sure you’ve chosen a plan of action that’s actually gonna be doable!
3) Write It Down - One of the most oft cited tactics on the way to success is to write your goals down. It’s no coincidence that this little nugget of advice is in basically every book on success ever written. Not only will you benefit from articulating your why and clarifying your goal, but you’d be AMAZED at how effective it can be to schedule your workouts and game plan for hotness.
Yup. Put it in your calendar. Seriously. DO IT. If it’s not in there, you’re more likely to get carried away by other commitments and blow off your sexification time.
If you REALLY want to insure you follow through, you can also tell friends and have them check up on you. For many people, just knowing someone will check in profoundly increases their accountability.
This three step plan may seem somewhat simplistic because… well… it kinda is. “Simple as possible but not any simpler” is an Albert Einstein dictum that’s a guiding principle for MFF. At the beginning of the fitness journey, there will be value in merely figuring out your true motivation to get fit, finding a reasonable plan that you have confidence will get you to your goals, and then making a commitment to following through. Once you’ve started your fitness “habit,” we can start to tweak and optimize the program and start delving into the sexy stuff.
Hopefully these tips will be enough to nudge you to begin to claim the awesomeness that is your birthright. The summer is coming my friends. Let this be the year of scandalous speedo and string bikini! See you at the Clubhouse!
In Defense of Ridiculousness
I. Am a fucking lunatic. Seriously.
I’m not much for deferring to social conventions, and at this point in my life, I’ve come to a place of acceptance and made peace with this fact. (Mind you, I DO have tact and social intuition, so I don’t wear leopard print unitards to weddings, don’t worry Mom.)
This is literally, actually, seriously just another day at the office.
It’s fair to say my quirky, off-beat humor has set the tone for MFF’s brand of “Ridiculous Humans, Serious Fitness.” When I teach and train Ninjas, I drop f bombs like it’s my job (though I guess it almost is at this point). I use elaborate metaphors to explain the nuances of training and nutrition that involve fantastical imagery, graphic sex references, and any number of bodily functions. To say this is a departure from the fitness industry’s conventional and often conservative approach would be quite an understatement.
I can’t help it. I’ve always been drawn to the ridiculous in life. I think this comes out of an appreciation of my own mortality, and the existential angst that tortured me through much of my youth. The absurdity of the human experience was a source of constant pain for me. Couldn’t people see how inherently meaningless life is? How could anyone take anything seriously when any number of freak occurrences could snuff out a life and the survival of the human race was under constant threat from nuclear weapons, global warming, etc.?
Needless to say, I was a MAJOR fucking drag. Happily, thanks to being blessed with some understanding friends, I was able to extract my head from my ass and use life’s brevity and an uncertain afterlife as an impetus towards creating meaning, instead of an excuse for despair.
Ridiculousness is an important life value for me. I love modern art, absurdist theater, and Family Guy. I believe silliness and humor are the KY Jelly in the often painful process of working on one’s self.
Let’s be honest, it’s fucking HARD to deal with your shit. Whether it be owning up to certain psychological quirks or self-limiting beliefs that have been barriers to success, or dealing with body issues and insecurities and taking the leap to make fitness a part of your life… the work of self improvement is by its very definition uncomfortable. As Joseph Campbell says, “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” While I do my best to help lead others into the cave, I try to lighten the mood by referencing pornography and unicorns.
I am aware MFF’s brand of ridiculousness is too out there for many. Sweet. No prob. However, I will lovingly suggest that anyone who doesn’t own a certain child-like love of play and creativity and silliness is really not living a whole life. There. I said it.
I think fun is underrated. And I’m not talking about mindlessly eating junk food, watching reality TV, getting shit-faced wasted fun. Those are relatively small goals; easy to accomplish. I’m talking about FUN. With capital letters. Divine, sacred FUN. FUN that requires a type of work, and inventiveness, and creativity.
In a world that seems to conspire to rob all of us of the very traits that make us unique, we strive to make the Clubhouse an inclusive place that honors everyone’s individuality. Where folks are encouraged to let their respective freak flags fly. And even here, there is a rainbow of human experience and variety, as most folks are not as loco as the MFF team of ridiculous humans. And hey… that’s ok too. You do YOU.
My hunger for authenticity and genuine human connection is endless. To that end, MFF is a safe and nurturing space for people to own where they are: the good, the bad, the completely fucking twisted. It’s like we’re in Good Will Hunting. You’re Matt Damon, and I’m Robin Williams.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
MFF is not and will never be for everyone. And THAT is ok with me too. I believe all humans must follow their own path to health and hotness. And in all honesty, if you feel super comfortable in a traditional gym, you might not enjoy a space so unicornish (NOT A WORD). Totally cool. You still fucking rock.
But if you’ve been intimidated by standard gym culture… if you’re nervous about having to do the hard work of self-improvement… if you think bodily functions are inherently LOL… I think there’s a home awaiting you. An Enchanted Ninja Clubhouse of Glory and Dreams populated by an Army of Ninjas; an extended fitness family you may not have even known you were missing.
I can’t wait to work with you. And sweat with you. And laugh with you. And love life with you.
I can tell we’re gonna be life long friends. Thanks for allowing ME a safe space to be my truest self. You rock! I can’t wait to get you in the best shape of your fucking life.
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road
Class Review: Barry’s Bootcamp
As loyal readers and Ninjas know, we’re kind of obsessed with getting better at MFF. We read a fuck ton of books, blogs, and websites, we go to weekend seminars, and we have long, geeky conversations where we use science-y terms like “reciprocal inhibition,” “stretch shortening cycle,” and “dragon semen.”
The MFF Team Hard At Work
And while all that theoretical stuff is great, I think I can speak for the whole team when I tell you a lot of what we learn comes not only from seeing what’s successful with our clients, but from using ourselves as guinea pigs. We try shit out and see what works! Sometimes our ideas work out, sometimes they don’t. But we always have fun, and we always learn.
Along those lines, I’ve spent the past three months taking a lot of random classes around NYC. While I feel pretty great about the consistent, dramatic results we get at MFF, I know there are always things to be learned by studying other exercise modalities and taking class with other fitness professionals. Sometimes there’s stuff I like, sometimes there’s stuff I think is not so hot!
In what will be an ongoing series, I’m gonna share my thoughts on classes I’ve taken and give you my analysis of the pros and cons. I’m gonna qualify this hardcore for several reasons.
Number one, I usually just take one class. Although that gives me a taste, I know that this doesn’t always give me a full perspective of the class or modality in question.
Number two, I am aware I come into these experiences with my biases of what I’ve seen work and what I believe to the physiological principles that are in play when using exercise to pursue health and hotness. While I try to keep an open mind, I’m really happen to entertain other points of view if you have some points you think I should consider!
That said, please know the “I just know what works for my body” argument is a non-starter. You’re welcome to do whatever makes you happy of course, but that’s not actually a useful dialogue since everything new will affect the body to some degree. But if you find a flaw in my thought process or can enlighten me to any actual physiological logic that I’m missing, fire away! I fucking heart you.
Today we’re gonna lead off with Barry’s Bootcamp NYC!
Barry’s Bootcamp is actually a chain of fitness bootcamps that started in LA. They’ve recently opened a NY location, and Barry’s is known for its club-like atmosphere, music, and lighting. And sure enough, there were definitely some sexy motherfuckers in the mid-morning class I took. I took a “Legs and Butt” class with MFF’s very own John “The DILF” O’Mahoney. Fun!
What I Liked!
- The methodology behind Barry’s isn’t actually too bad. The class I took was alternating periods of interval sprints on treadmills and weight training “drop sets” of leg exercises with dumbbells. You will no doubt burn a lot of calories training like this!
- They have Woodway Treadmills. If you’re gonna use treadmills, these little babies are the way to go. I’ll spare you the geek talk, but trust me, they’re superior to other treadmills and are less likely to fuck you up.
- The atmosphere is indeed quite sexified. The lights and music really got me pumped to get after it!
What I Didn’t Like So Much!
- While I think there’s definitely scientific logic behind the interval sprints mixed with weight training, I don’t think this actually represents the safest way to get results. And since “Do No Harm” is the foundation of anything I do with our clients, this is kind of a deal breaker for me.
Is this style of training gonna help with fat loss and cardiovascular conditioning? Probably! I just don’t believe many folks will be able to get away with it long term. If their running technique isn’t spot on, all that sprinting is gonna lead to knee, hip, or low back problems. And I know few people with GREAT running technique. This style of training would have been pretty progressive back in early and mid-2000’s, I just think we have safer ways of getting comparable results in a much lower-impact way.
- The weight training exercises were kind of silly. The exercises themselves were fine, but, at least in the class I took, the regime was built around what bodybuilders refer to as “drop sets.” Do a set with two dumbbells, keep going with one dumbbell, keep going with bodyweight, then pulse in the bottom position. Is this “wrong?” No, I don’t think it’s wrong by any means. It WILL get you sore as fuck.
And while getting sore isn’t wrong, I’m not a fan of program design that leads to unnecessarily excessive soreness. Pulsing in the bottom position of lunge will make the glutes work hardest in the stretched position which will lead to “feeling” it the next day. All in all, this isn’t a bad choice from a marketing perspective, as most consumers will equate a sore ass with a good workout. (For the record, soreness isn’t inherently good or bad; it simply means you’ve challenged the body in a different way than it’s used to.)
This style of training will burn calories, but I’m not sure it’s gonna do much to build a base of strength (which is generally gonna be helpful both for building muscle AND increasing the amount of weight used when training, which will allow for more calories burnt and staying leaner with less effort.)
- Now here’s an opinion: I believe exercise is more effective when one has to work hard to maintain proper technique. Since the brain burns 20% of calories, I prefer exercises that challenge the brain while challenging the body. The instructor’s art is to ensure that all trainees are challenging themselves, but maintaining a safe level of technical proficiency. Telling folks to turn up or turn down the speed on the treadmill doesn’t really require coaching (which from a business standpoint is another savvy move, as it’s probably not too hard to train instructors since they don’t need to understand the nuances of technically complicated exercises). And while the instructor I took with really had an awesome energy and gave a great class, the exercises themselves left little to be coached, as they were pretty simple. You can ABSOLUTELY argue that this is an advantage, but it doesn’t require the mental engagement that is a deep philosophical value of ours at MFF.
In summary, Barry’s Bootcamp would totally be an effective workout when trying to get leaner, but for my tastes, the cost-to-benefit ratio is wildly skewed. In my experience, most humans are gonna break down with all that running. And since there’s no assessment beyond asking if anyone has pre-existing injuries, there’s no way of knowing if someone has the type of hip dysfunction that will make that much sprinting a time bomb (this is why even our trial members have to go through the FMS and discuss their injury history in depth with our team).
Furthermore, one can’t out-train one’s diet. I would always prefer people slowly and methodically build a base of functional movement quality before adding strength, and let their diet do most of the work of leaning out. Again, if you have fun training like this, I’m not gonna say that it’s not gonna work. But I do think anyone who doesn’t have stellar running technique and/or who relies on their body (ACTORS AND DANCERS, I’m looking at YOU) is really taking a risk and rolling the dice with their long term (and even short term) orthopedic health!
So there you have it kids! Barry’s Bootcamp is totally fun and probably effective, but it might totally fuck you up.
Recovery is like Romance
A guest post by Fitness Ninja/Bodywork Wizard John O’Mahoney
Remember “Training Is Like Farming?” Well, Recovery is like ROMANCE. For today’s purposes, I’m talking about the type of romancin’ you hear about in rap songs, not R&B. Basically…pimpin’. You want to get in there and make some magic happen in the gym. Dazzle your body with deep, stimulating exercise like it’s never seen before. Rock its world. Then you wanna not call it for a day. Maybe e’en 2. Let that sweet little body of yours think about all the lovin’ you gave it yesterday and figure out how it’s gonna get ready for round 2. Your body might need to buy some sexy new underwear to keep you interested the next time you come over to play. It needs a day to figure out how it’s gonna keep up with the kind of pimp game you’re throwing down. In other words, it needs a chance to adapt. Wait for your body to txt you. Trust me, it wants more of that thug-love.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but you really only get stronger in the time between your workouts. When you work out hard, you tell your body that you are expecting more from it. While you rest and recover, you give it a chance to build the new muscle you want and strengthen bones and ligaments.
Now look here, if you’re just looking to hit it and quit it, then a little rest and some good sleep is gonna keep you going for a few weeks. But if you want go a little further than the 3rd date, you gotta put in work. If you wanna keep that body working for you and coming back for more, it needs some extra attention. You wanna give it some space to breathe but maybe send it some flowers at work to let it know you’re thinking about it. Around here we give flowers in the form of long, hard, black (occasionally white, but those aren’t as hard) shafts and little orange balls.
Foam rollers and lacrosse balls are great tools for prepping your muscles for another round of exercise. The techniques we teach are called Self-Myofascial Release. They help to break up adhesions and clear metabolic wastes created by the extra exercise your muscles have been getting. They also help to “loosen” the muscle fibers and allow them to move more freely through their fascial sheath. WTF? (Sorry, I just can’t seem to find a good metaphor for massaging and lubricating muscle-y tissue so it can slide through a tight sheath.) Questions? Come ask me or any of the other instructors here how it works. In the meantime, JUST DO IT. It hurts at first, but as you get in there more and more it starts to feel good.
OOPS. You caught feelings. You might have fallen in L. O. V. E. with moving that body and getting better everyday. You can’t get enough, and you might just wanna commit to a relationship. Don’t be scuurrred. No one will ever stay as close to you. Your body IS the partner you’ve been looking for. You know what that means. You gotta take the time to get to know this corporeal form that sustains you. You gotta invest real time and effort in your relationship. Plan a vacation where the two of you can really get to know each other away from your busy lives. Get massages together at the hotel. (Wait.. the metaphor is blurring into the point I wanna make…)
MFF highly recommends utilizing a licensed massage therapist
Seriously, massage is an incredible tool for boosting your rate of recovery from exercise. Recently published studies have shown that massage definitively reduces post exercise inflammation, which is part of what causes all that soreness the next day. As if less pain wasn’t enough, the same study found that, after a massage, there was “‘an increase in mitochondrial biogenesis’ helping the muscle adapt to the demands of increased exercise.” That means what you’re hoping it means. Massage helps you get stronger faster. Rest periods give muscle cells time to adapt to the new challenges you’ve set for them. We offer massage therapy sessions that are very affordable at MFF, as well as workshops so that you and your friends and lovers can learn to massage each other. Together, we’ll heal the world MuthaFuggas!
So if you’re ready to have a relationship with your body that lasts a lifetime (guess what, you have NO CHOICE!), give back to it as much as it gives you. Give it R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (I guess it is more like R&B). Cuz if you let that abusive relationship continue, one day it’s going to show up with a baseball bat and cripple you. I’m not kidding.
No Time to Work Out? Puh-lease.
And now, a guest post by Brooke Stone. Click here to visit Brooke Stone Lifestyle Management: “Live your life. Let us do the rest.”
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So, here’s the deal. It’s hard to find time to work out because it sucks (Mark, bear with me here). Exercising uses up time and energy you don’t have and makes you sweaty - which feels good until it dries on your face and causes major post-adolescent acne hideosity. But you know you HAVE to do it, or you will get unfit, unhappy, and un-hot. No one wants that. Sometimes we think we do (doughnut), but we really don’t (Vince jeans).
How in the world are we expected to work out when we have so many other demands on our time? Buddha, Krishna, Unbearable Lightness of Being – whatever the hell is up there, or not – WTF? How do we do it?!
We trick ourselves. That’s right. Trick. We reframe the situation. Assuming you have already tried scheduling a workout into your calendar, finding a workout buddy, and other typical suggestions to no avail, try these two suggestions and let me know how you do:
Take Control
Most of us believe we have little control over an uncomfortable situation. With exercise, we explore the options, pick the least horrific alternative, and suck it up. This usually amounts to two weeks of forced participation, and a fall off the wagon. We set ourselves up to fail, which only increases the likelihood that we will fail again and again. This cycle simply wont work if you wish to make health and hotness a priority. So take control.
Try this: Acknowledge the workouts that you’ve genuinely enjoyed. Take a minute and figure out what was making you enjoy them. Did you love the instructor? Did you love the way your butt looked in the $52 workout shorts? Did you love the person sweating it out next to you? The music? The time of day? The fact that you didn’t eat too close to the class and you didn’t feel like you had to vom? Find out what was making you tick, and therefore click. Write it down. Now. Do it. Please.
Now, use this data to inform your fitness choices. Go to classes taught by your favorite instructors exclusively – who cares?! Buy the $52 workout shorts if they get that killer ass back to the gym. Ask the instructor to play your favorite song – they have to make so many playlists, I’m sure they’ll thank you for the help.
Take control, create a situation to which you would like to return, and return! You will discover that it’s much easier to find time for something you actually want to do, something tailor made for you.
More than Madonna Arms
Like most people, you probably arrive at the gym, yoga, Pilates with visions of the perfect physique, but it’s not enough to keep you on the gym floor or on your mat. You get bored. You get tired and sore. You think there must be some better style of exercise that will deliver the results you seek. So you go off looking for it and repeat the cycle in search of those ever elusive Kabbalah-inspired Madonna arms. You will never find them. Shalom.
Find your connection to physical activity on a level deeper than physical appearance. When you are able to dig down and find a way to simultaneously condition your body and nourish your mind, you will work out every day and not understand how others do not. You may have seen this in your marathon-running, yoga-crazed, or Mark Fisher Fitness-addicted friends. Were you jealous?
Try this: Consider the parts of your personality that don’t get a lot of air time most days. For me, I almost never get to be playful and childlike or to exhibit my easy going, relaxed side (Yes, husband, I have one). Thus, I have become addicted to rollerblading and yoga. These two physical outlets allow me to tap into the parts of myself I often shut away. My alarm goes off in the morning, and I know when I hit my mat I get to be relaxed Brooke, even though my teacher and fellow yogis are the only ones who know she exists. When I am rollerblading along the East River with my husband, wind in my hair, asphalt occasionally in my face, I’m free! I can fall, I can be imperfect, I can laugh – loudly! So I do these things, I look forward to them, and only after I’m done do I remember it was a work out.
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Brooke Stone is a Lifestyle Management Professional with significant experience assisting individuals, businesses and NFP organizations. Together with her clients, Brooke works to increase productivity, manage commitments and streamline lifestyles. With a variety of skills including large scale project and event organization, small business start-up consulting, professional organizing, systems engineering and integration and superior personal and executive assistant skills, Brooke will help you find the time in your life you have been craving.
A concern for the overcommitted lifestyles of parents, executives and involved individuals led Brooke to create BSLM. Brooke and all of the LMPs encourage you to outsource the parts of your life for which you have no time, energy or expertise and to rededicate the time saved to your life goals and passions. Lifestyle management, for every lifestyle.
Brooke is a graduate of Ithaca College, a member of the National Association of Profess
ional Organizers and has been seen on A&E’s TV show Hoarders. Brooke is a contributor to the BSLM blog, Praxis.
Cheat Meals, Cheat Days, Cheat Lives
Life is a series of compromises. We must all find our own balance of work and fun, of pleasure and enjoyment, of veggies and ice cream.
A frequent topic of discussion for those looking to lean out is the “cheat meal.” A cheat meal can be defined in many ways, but it’s generally a chance to eat something that’s not in line with a current health and hotness goal: it has too many calories, it’s too processed, or both. Many diets use cheat meals to give the dieter a mental and culinary break and, in many cases, to prevent the body from adjusting to the diet. There are several ways of employing cheat meals, so let’s take a look at our options, shall we?
Incidentally, Amsterdam has some delicious cheat foods.
1) The Cheat Day – Many folks who’ve tried Bill Phillips’s iconic Body-for-LIFE program have played with this before. Basically, you eat like fucking hotness war machine for six days (protein, veggies, water, unicorn blood), then one day a week, you go nuts and eat whatever you want (ice cream, pizza, candy, unicorn blood). Many folks enjoy this because it gives them a full day to gorge; usually it’s not enough to slow down the fat loss, but it allows them to hold out those six days when french fries and ice cream are on the way. Anecdotally, many people find they feel like shit after eating a full Papa John’s pizza, so it’s actually pretty easy to get back on the train the next day. For some, however, it encourages binge eating, and they actually manage to eat enough to slow (if not stop) their fat loss.
2) The Cheat Meal – The cheat meal is a more moderate version of the cheat day. Instead of taking a full day to eat whatever they want, dieters eat whatever they want for 1 to 3 meals a week. The advantage here is they’re usually only a day or two away from their next indulgence. The downside is that if they’re predisposed to binging, 3 binges a week are totally enough to throw a substantial wrench into all their hard work the rest of the week.
3) No Cheat Anything – Some folks like to just go hardcore when dieting. This is a great strategy for those who seem to be suffering actual addictions to food and need to take control of their life. It also prevents the binge eating relapses that the other two strategies might encourage. Furthermore, since willpower is a trainable quality, many people seem to develop psychospiritual super powers by claiming dominance over their food. On the downside, it requires a lot of discipline when one is going for several weeks without having any nutritional “fun”, and there is some research to suggest that carefully used cheat strategies can actually help fat loss by periodically letting the body know it’s not, in fact, actually starving it.
So which one is right for you? (wait for it… wait for it…) IT DEPENDS!!! (you totally knew that was coming.)
Truly, it depends. I say if you’re predisposed to binge eating, you want to be thoughtful when considering the periodic cheat meal route. In a perfect world, that’s probably the sanest option, but Health and Hotness Warrior, know thyself! If you’re gonna slide down a slippery slope and start housing entire cheesecakes, you may be better off just not going on that journey. In that case, you could either stay regimented for several weeks at a time, or give yourself a full day to eat whatever. However, the full day off seems to work best when one gorges themself to the point of being sick of crap food. And I must admit, I don’t know that I’m in love with that strategy. But to each their own!
The three things I do feel strongly about are this:
1) I much prefer the term “free meal” to “cheat meal.” Psychological framing matters. If you’re gonna eat some chips, fucking DO IT. Don’t feel bad about it. Enjoy that shit! Which leads me to my next point…
2) Plan your free meals. If you’re gonna go off the health and hotness menu, make sure it’s delicious! Nothing is worse than an unplanned free meal where you are just tired and didn’t plan right, so you breakdown and have something unhealthy that you don’t even enjoy that much.
3) Regardless of which strategy you do or do not employ, make sure you don’t diet too long without taking some sort of break. Now this nugget of wisdom is somewhat context dependent (for instance I don’t know that the clinically obese are served by this strategy), but if you’ve got 25 lbs to lose, you may want to plan to do it over 16 weeks, and include two 5 day “breaks” over that time. These are days where you will go back up to (or even above) the amount of calories you need to maintain your current bodyweight. I also recommend people allow themselves their favorite foods here, PARTICULARLY if they’ve had to restrict their favorite foods while losing bodyfat.
At the end of the day, my main concern will always be maximizing one’s quality of life. While I think dieting strictly is admirable and can teach folks about self discipline, health food can be yet another addiction for folks to obsess over (look up “orthorexia” (LINK TO BLOG POST)). Is there value in a shortened period of time where one goes “all in” and gets Snatched? Sure. But we must be careful not to yank our chains away from Master Junk Food only to hand them over to Master Health Food. I do not recommend an obsessive attitude about ANYTHING (though again, there may be value for short periods). Life is short dear reader. I encourage you to discover your own balance!
You can have your cake and eat it too. You just can’t eat the cake every fucking day, know what I’m sayin’?
